the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
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