after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Gay?
German.
Pity.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
