exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
