you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
MIDGETS
????
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Randomize
