Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize