there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
