did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I don't think brook has ever known best
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
