i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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