1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I think my moral compass just broke
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