Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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