well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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