is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
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