no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Randomize
