Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
no you cant smoke seaweed
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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