and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
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