im gay
i know
yea but for you.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Randomize
