Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
