Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
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