Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
