there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
