Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
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