I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Randomize
