____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
