i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
