I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
