I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
