So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Randomize
