Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
