Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
