Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
