That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
