Where is the hickey?
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
