don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Randomize
