is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize