She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
