he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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