i permit you to call me
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
she peed on how many people?
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Randomize
