our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
