spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
meet me or not, i'm out of control
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
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