Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
