now i know why i became what i already was.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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