so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
