I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Randomize
