Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
