the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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