you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
