is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
