So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
