I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
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