I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Randomize