They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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