And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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