Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
