even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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