we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Randomize