i will never coherently bang her
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
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