My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
