You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
