Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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