THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
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