To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
