My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
she looked like the before picture.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
