I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
