I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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